Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize