craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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