oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
