I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
organizing the empties. That sober.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
