I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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