I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
