The maid of honor just puked.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize