fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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