That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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