Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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