in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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