y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My liver just broke up with me...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
