Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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