; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
