I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
