And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
