No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
