Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
