just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
