i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
