This girl is more easily done than said...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
