you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
