he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
