Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
