have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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