And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
