I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
sarcasm needs its own font
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
