hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
