STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
