Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
