well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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