It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize