I think I won the penis lottery.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
