we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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