dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
