am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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