You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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