i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
