Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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