I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
