Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she told me i tasted like america
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We are all done wearing pants today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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