What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
