He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
