I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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