:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
