it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
