How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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