dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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