I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
