mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Screwed.edu
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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