my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my poor anus
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
