You just made me feel so damn special
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
