as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
