There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
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