HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
