I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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