he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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