I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
