Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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