Swine flu. Run for my life!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
