I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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