My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
