I'm going to jail i love you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
