Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
is that a dick in a sweater?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
