Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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